I type away furiously, sometimes not knowing exactly what I want to say. Some days, after making and having dinner, we’d go to a milk tea place nearby. Other days, we’ll go for a three-kilometer walk around the neighborhood. Okay, none of these activities count as a routine because they differ depending on mood and weather. But overall, my after-work life involves finding something — anything — to do. Which is, in a way, sad and pathetic because have I not done enough during the day while working? Most days, it feels like so. Other times I sit quietly while I scroll through what seems like an endless stream of information I don’t really need — from where an elementary school classmate had dinner or what my former teacher’s doing in a different country. And then I feel awful just thinking about the time I could’ve used for something else. At times it feels like the world doesn’t want you to stop and smell the proverbial roses it constantly asks you to enjoy.
It’s hard to take time off when you have a lot of things to do. Or when there are a lot of things that are expected of you. It’s even more difficult to find a balance between giving yourself some time to rest but also making sure that you’re not wasting your time. But isn’t rest valuable enough to warrant precious time? Let’s talk about it in another post. For now, here are the things I’d like to do during my time off — without feeling guilty.
I read a lot for my day job, but I still want to be able to uncover new worlds through words. I dare not say how many books I’ve finished this year because you can count them with two hands — maybe even just one (!!!) — but I’m going to try to change that.
I write a lot for work, but I feel like I still need a lot of practice. I’m hoping I can finally, seriously try writing fiction. I’ve always been scared and hesitant but I kinda wanna just go ahead and try.
Try journaling again
I was in fifth grade when our Filipino teacher tasked us to keep a diary. That really got me into documenting my life, thoughts and plans. I still carry a notebook and a pen wherever I go but I haven’t been journaling as much as I used to. Aside from being able to practice writing, I think writing manually can be helpful in remembering things. Also, I need to practice writing as in writing because my signature looks different each time.
I don’t have trouble sleeping… at least not lately. But I hope I can guiltlessly sleep on weekend afternoons without feeling awful when I wake up.
How do you spend your time off and do you tend to get guilty about what you do, too?