I’m careful not to share anything too personal on this space. And I’d like to think my days as a “personal blogger” are far behind me. I try to keep the things I write here helpful. But I guess if I share my experience and what lesson I’ve learned about it, it might be of use, too. I hope.
So, here’s the deal. Things have been hard. And by things I mean the tug of war of thoughts inside my head, and by hard I mean they’ve been difficult to shake off. Perhaps I’ve overestimated my capacity to reboot.
But also maybe I shouldn’t continue swimming in the puddle of my uncertainties because when I look at the minute details of my life, to my surprise but also to my delight, things actually work out. Sometimes the fears you have are bigger in your mind than they truly are in real life.
People will surprise you. And if you’re lucky, it’ll be in a good way.
Last week, while we were about to cross the street and make our way into the entrance of the community where we live, our car just stopped. Like a toy whose battery had worn out, it died — but only temporarily, of course. We were there for more than half an hour. There were no more open auto parts store. We didn’t know anyone who could jumpstart our car. But there were good souls who helped us, without expecting anything in return at that. A few tricycle drivers learned about our situation and helped push our car till we reached the gate of our community.
Our windows were rolled down, so leaving the car near the guard house despite the presence of people who would look after it didn’t seem like a sound choice. And so we sought the help of people who can help us, again, set our sleeping tin can with wheels in motion. That night, I learned that the construction workers who build and mount houses in the second phase of our community are not allowed to leave their quarters once the sun has set. But since the head of security vouched for them, they were allowed to help us. And they did. And, again, without an apparent want to be compensated for their service. It broke my heart a little. But it also gave me hope.
There are good people out there still. No matter how vile those in power may be, there will be people (more often than not, those that have been deemed weak or unworthy by society) who will continue to do good.
Take risks. Win or lose, you’ll gain something.
My mind works on overdrive. I have a thousand thoughts per minute and I’ve tons of ideas for things I want to do and achieve. But I’ve learned over time that age tempers you. It could just be me but I’ve realized that I’ve become more scared to try new things as I’ve gotten older. Of course, my family factors in hugely in that situation. But the thing is: I’ll never accomplish even half of my ideas if I don’t actually start. And so I have.
My sister and I recently set up shop in Lipa City (come visit us at The Annex; it’s right beside De La Salle Lipa). It has been part of the plan since we started late last year, but we felt like time’s a wastin. The fear was high, but it’s done. It’s still too early to tell and I don’t want to jinx anything but I will say that it felt good to finally bite the bullet. That’s one item crossed off my non-existent bucket list. But more importantly, I feel like it will be a huge learning opportunity for me and my sister. We have big dreams, and we’ve finally taken the first big step towards it. We just gotta figure out what to do to get to the end of the tunnel. If we don’t get there, at least we’ll be wiser.
The vision’s still blurry and murky, but as skeptical as I may be, it all works out.