Career, Career and Finance, Life Skills

On Unpleasant Surprises and Not Getting Your Way

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It’s that feeling when you try to contain emotions that have been swelling up inside you. “You’re on the verge of breaking down,” my mind tells me over and over. My heart’s beating so fast, I can hardly contain it with short breaths and deep sighs. Sometimes, life sucks. It throws you a curve ball. Things don’t go your way.

It’s easy to say that it’s just how life goes, but at the moment you’re enveloped by questions of “why” and “what the heck” it’s not easy to rise up and shrug things off — especially if you’ve been done an injustice. You want to lash out and cry and curse everyone you see. It’s teeth-gnawingly upsetting.

The feeling’s a bit similar to expecting something you truly thought would come but didn’t. They’re both awful, nonetheless. But after all’s said and done… what’s next? Well, I can’t say with guarantee that things will get better, but they will be a little less hard. Here’s how to get out of a rut (you didn’t cause).


No, it’s not some hippie voodoo. Breathing actually helps you get a clearer mind. If you can, go outside and breathe some fresh air while going for a walk. It does wonders!

Assess the situation

Just how bad is it? Are you logically going to survive after it? What actions should you take next? It’s important to be able to establish the situation so you can plan what to do about it. Would you need to take more time off to process things? Can you do something right away? Don’t be afraid to ask yourself questions. But more importantly, don’t be scared of the real answers.

Map out your exit strategy

In life, there’s nothing like being ready for anything. And you can only be ready for something if you’ve planned for it. I realize now that confidence stems a lot (or should stem) from preparedness. Putting yourself out there involves preparedness. Being able to convey your message just the way you want involves preparedness. In this case, you need to prepare your exit strategy. And by exit, I mean from your rut. List down your options and gauge whether they are all viable. Try them in the order of most possible to least. Sooner or later, you’ll find the end of the tunnel. If it comes later than you expect, well, at least there have been lots of learnings along the way.

Know when to ask for help

Pride is a tricky thing. Of course you know how to help yourself and how to deal with your problems by yourself. But there’s courage in knowing that you need other people’s hands to help lift you up from your situation. If you know, deep in your heart, that things would get easier if you ask for someone else’s help, by all means, don’t be afraid to do so.

Keep at it

Dory said it best. “Just keep swimming.”

Jorj Cornejo

Jorj writes and helps shape stories that stick in people's minds, tug at their heartstrings and move them to action. She spends her free time trying to read the whole Internet.

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